This past Friday, Tiger Woods broke three months of self-imposed silence. He spoke publicly for the first time since reports had leaked out last November concerning some embarrassing and dishonorable revelations about the golfer's private life. After acknowledging affairs and other inappropriate behaviors, and after admitting that he was in therapy and seeking religious guidance to help get his life back on track, he stated that "I know I have bitterly disappointed all of you. For all that I have done, I am so sorry."

I have been asked numerous times now if I think this topic is appropriate to bring up in conversations with teenagers. And my answer is that, yes, I think this is a "teen worthy" discussion point. In fact, my bias here is that I think most subjects are worthwhile conversation topics if it gets you and your teenager talking together.

A Baby Tiger

In this particular case, I believe that it would be most helpful for parents to keep things very open-ended in order to give your teenage sons and daughters the room that they need to tell you what's going on in their heads. One way to create such an unrestricted space for dialogue is to pose questions for your teenagers to respond to in order to see where they are in their thinking. In no order of importance:

Who was hurt most by the mistakes that Tiger made?

What is the value of Tiger saying he is sorry, and is that enough?

Was it important for Tiger to seek forgiveness in this way?

Who do you think will be able to forgive Tiger?

Will there be anyone who won't ever be able to forgive him?

Is it OK for anyone to not forgive Tiger?

How hard do you think it is to be faithful to someone you are married to?

Do you have any friends who have been hurt by someone who was cheating on them when they were dating?

What kinds of things make it easier or harder for you to forgive others?

How easy or hard is it for you to ask others to forgive you?

Remember, with these and related questions you are asking for your son or daughter's opinion, nothing more or less. The central point of this exercise is to take advantage of a news story about a public figure in order to have an important discussion with your teenager about issues that, minus Tiger, do have a great deal to do with real life. After all, making mistakes, apologizing, seeking and granting forgiveness, and keeping commitments all are parts of your teenager's life (as well as your own, of course).

Remember, be prepared to provide your own opinions if asked by your teenager. No fair asking a question you are not willing to give an answer to yourself! Finally, remember that all of this is directly embedded in two of the five facts about strong families. Fact #2 states that "strong families understand their members' talents and abilities," and hence highlights your continued need to have discussions like this with your teenager. And Fact #3 states that "strong families are patient and kind," an excellent forum for talking about the place of forgiveness in your family's life!

Over the past twenty-five years, Dr. Gavazzi has been involved in research that focuses on how families influence the healthy development of teenagers. Professor Gavazzi also has been involved in the development and evaluation of a number of family-based programs that inform this book. As the father of three teenage boys, he understands the private side of how families work during this period of life. In addition to having published his first trade book (Strong Families, Successful Students), Dr. Gavazzi is currently writing a textbook on Families with Adolescents for Springer Press.